Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
