If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
