he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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