So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
