It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
