Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
