He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hippo gnu deer
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Randomize
