She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
