im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
