We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
