I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
