The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
