the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
high people should be assigned attendants
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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