do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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