I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
is it fun? or sober?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
