is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
