the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
