Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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