Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
