Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
