I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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