Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Please don't give away my fajitas
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
