just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
