Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You can't motorboat a personality
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
