I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is this the sara with the beer cane?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This baby is an asshole
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
