You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
