Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
