question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
