you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
