Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
