I want to make a zoo with you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
