I hate your face
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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