He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
