now i know why i became what i already was.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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