last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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