I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
