She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
