took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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