wat bout pragnant strippers??
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
