its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
