If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
