Barsexuality is the new black.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
