After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
