i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
soo... how was my night?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
