i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
