I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
