are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
