She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
