I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
