I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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